Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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