i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
