I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
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He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
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The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
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