Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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