It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
