I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
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