Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
