thus making me awesome and them whores
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
