I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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