i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
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