She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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