There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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