i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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