he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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