3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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