im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
we made out on top of his cat.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
