you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I had to cum in my sink.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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