yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
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