When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize