She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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