YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
