Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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