I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
