he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
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You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
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