Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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