today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
