I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
