PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Randomize
