Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
