We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
