if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
