So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize