Got a toothbrush?
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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