So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
