Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Randomize
