Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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