I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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