I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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