Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
