His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
