I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
