Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
