apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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