Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
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