Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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