Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
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