Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
