Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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