and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
