I'll bet she douches with gravy.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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