i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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