We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
vagina is talking i cant
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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