I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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