I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
my poor anus
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
