Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
