I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
