im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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