I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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