I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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