Having a random hookup so left but love u
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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